Rumor Has It You're Dead!
by RoseMarie Fanfics
Summary: Nastasia has had to live with the girl who is living proof that the Count loves someone for a whole year. She starts to get tired of it, and that causes a major showdown with some major fourth-wall breaking. Be warned: you will face a very fangirlish twist in the end! One-shot. R&R please, and enjoy!


A/N: This is a slight songfic, because in one part Nassy and Timpani sing the first verse of 'Rumor Has It.' But, that's it for songs. This is what happens when I'm locked up in my stuffy room for a half hour. There's an interesting twist at the end that I don't think any of you would have guessed. R&R, please, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Super Paper Mario or Rumor Has It. Rumor Has It belongs to Adele and Super Paper Mario belongs to Nintendo. All I own is myself, and our glass fourth wall. ; )

Nastasia walked up to the Count's room and knocked on the door. "Count, I've finished the paperwork." Nastasia slowly opened the door, wincing at the creak it made. But, the Count wasn't in the room. Instead, she found none other than Lady Timpani.

"Hello," Nastasia said politely, almost a little too politely, to Timpani. Timpani just nodded in her direction and glided out the door, casting a small glare over her shoulder. The reason for this strange behavior was that Nastasia had admitted her love to the Count, but the Count didn't return the feelings. Nastasia had never liked Timpani from what the Count told her, but Timpani absolutely despised anyone who wanted to get in the way of her relationship with the Count. Basically, they hated each other.

Nastasia meekly set the the papers on his desk and teleported to the meeting hall, hoping to find the Count there. As the air around her flipped, she thought of rather creative ways for Timpani to die a slow, painful death.

In mere seconds, Nastasia was standing in the meeting hall, staring up at Count Blumiere. She took a step back, trying to somewhat even their height, and informed him that the paperwork was done and on his desk.

"Thank you, Nastasia. You may have the rest of the day off," the Count said, smiling down at Nastasia. She just gaped at him; she never got days off! Almost immediately, she erased whatever shock and joy was on her face and replaced in with a normal smile. She looked more professional and official that way.

"Thank you, Count." It was then that the smile was wiped right off her face.

Lady Timpani stood behind the Count, holding his gloved hand. The same hand that she had held so many times, when she needed comfort, or even a shoulder to cry on. And seeing Timpani hold that same hand made her snap. Snap like a graham cracker about to be eaten by a small child. See, she was so mad that she was making up horrible similes to describe her emotions.

Nastasia suddenly thought of a way to settle this. Nothing less than a sing-off. Nastasia scrolled through the songs that she remembered from when Mimi played her radio, and finally found a song that described just how she felt.

She started humming softly, waiting for Timpani to catch on. When she did, she let go of the Count's hand and stood in front of Nastasia, towering over her. "Rumor Has It, huh? Nice choice. Fits the situation well," Timpani said, smirking.

"Yeah," Nastasia answered, mustering up all her courage, and starting to sing.

"She, she ain't real," Nastasia sang with a surprisingly good voice, pointing at Timpani. "She ain't gonna be able to love you like I will."

"She," Timpani countered, "is a stranger. You and I have history or don't you remember?" The Count looked absolutely appalled at the thought of not remembering the time he and Timpani had spent together.

"Sure, she's got it all," Nastasia fought back. She then looked straight at the Count. "But baby, is that really what you want...?"

The fair and square sing-off the two girls were engaged in was rudely interrupted by the males of Castle Bleck and Mimi screaming, "FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Timpani finally gave in to their violent pleas. "Rumor has it? Rumor has it you're dead!"

Nastasia, no matter how nasty the comment was, bounced back. "Oh, shove it, Princess Mary-Sue of Butterfly Land!" 'Oohs' and 'aahs' were heard from the small crowd.

"Oh yeah? Well, let's see what Blumiere thinks!" Timpani cried, smirking. She knew who Blumiere would pick. Her, obviously. Funny enough, that same thought was going through Nastasia's mind at the moment, except Nastasia thought that the Count would pick her!

Finally, the girls' attention was focused on Count Blumiere. "So, who are you gonna choose? Me -" Timpani pointed to herself "- or her?" Timpani pointed with distaste in Nastasia's general direction.

The Count looked closely at both girls. They both had a wild look in their eyes that he had never seen before. Frankly, the Count didn't want to choose either of them. "I choose... I choose -" A thought struck the Count "- the author!"

Readers. I have something to explain to you. It is a concept known as the fourth wall. The fourth wall is the invisible blockade that separates a reader from the fanfiction, or the author from a fanfiction. It also works in different occurrences, but we will mainly focus on these. The characters in a fanfiction are not supposed to know that their lives are based on what people write, correct? Well, if a character mentions the author or the readers, they are breaking the fourth wall. Sometimes, the fourth wall is easy to shatter. That is what happened this very moment.

Rose stormed into the hall, fuming. "Alright. Who said author?" She angrily looked at everyone.

"I did," the Count admitted in a small voice.

Rose, however, was not shy about keeping her voice down. "Okay. Guys, you remember the last time the fourth wall broke, right? Well, it just happened again." The others hadn't noticed, but Rose had small cuts on her arms, probably from broken glass. "It shattered, and glass flew everywhere. You guys should know better! Especially you, Count! I expect better of you!"

"Sorry," he said quietly.

Rose was pacing back and forth. "Oh, what am I going to do? The fourth wall broke AGAIN! It's glass, it's not the concrete that other people use, it's GLASS! Ugh, I have to pay for another one, what am I supposed to do?"

"I'll pay for any damage done to the fourth wall," the Count offered.

"Thank you," Rose said. "Now what did you need to tell me that was so important?"

The Count looked at the other two women in the room. They still had that wild, almost beast like look in their eyes. Count Blumiere walked up to Rose and asked. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

First, she felt shock. Then, she felt joy. Then the fangirliness washed over. "YES!" she squealed. She jumped into his arms, and that made him laugh. "Let's bake a cake in celebration!" she joked, speaking in a high girly voice. She was trying to sound like the hero's girlfriend.

"Mamma mia, Peach!" The two burst into laughter. They walked off to the kitchen to bake the celebratory cake, Rose in Count Blumiere's arms.

"All's fair in love and war," Nastasia reminded Timpani, who was fuming. "Just get over it. That's what I'm doing." At that moment, Dimentio floated up and pressed his lips against Nastasia's and they kissed. When they broke apart, Dimentio whisked off a smiling Nastasia to the castle pool. Timpani looked expectantly towards the other guys and was shocked to see Mimi in Mr. L's arms. They then both walked off to the bedrooms.

Timpani took one last glance at the last single man and teleported out of the castle, never to return again...

A/N: Was my randomness random enough? I think so! I really enjoyed writing this. It was so fun writing about our glass fourth wall! I hope you enjoyed it too. Oh, and I've been thinking. This is actually kind of similar to Twilight, isn't it? Nastasia is Jacob, Timpani is Edward, and Blumiere is Bella! XD Well, I was just thinking that. Thanks for reading! Drop a review if you want! : )


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